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There is great power in the phrase “I am”. It suggests that whatever is to follow is factual. 

“You become what you think about most.. But you also attract what you think about most” ~John Assaraf

So… what are your “I am” statements? Do you tell yourself “I am fat”, “I am ugly” or “I am a loser”. Or do you say “I am happy”, “I am wealthy”, or “I am successful”? There is great power in those words and for many people, they manifest their “I AM” statements into becoming exactly what they believe.

Many years ago, I got bored with the passive answer “I’m good” or “I’m fine” when anyone would ask me “How are you?”. To me, it put me in mediocre land. I felt that it locked me into just being enough. I began to analyze the effects of just being good or fine.

I also began to look at the lives of those in whom I’d hear them say “I’m great”, “Excellent” or “Fantastic”. And although many of them seemed to have an attitude that was a step above those who were good or fine, it still wasn’t enough for me.

So I asked myself… “Self? How are you?”.

I was having a particularly good day, so I said:


Then… I tested it. Everytime someone would ask “How are you?” I challenged myself to 1 month of answering “I am happy”.  This phrase began to change my life and awaken something in those who heard my answer.

In fact, it seems to almost JOLT others when I respond with such a outlandish phrase to their passive question. It was unexpected and I found that it creates a curious sense of delight in them. It quite frequently inspires a moment of happiness in them. At the very least, they smile. But it always strikes up conversation.

There’s a 24-hr store near my house that I frequent at odd hours of the night. Having 6 kids means pharmacy runs at 2am. One of the workers there (we’ll call her Jessica) seemed to always be on the late shift register and we’d strike up small talk. I challenged her to respond with “I am happy” to her customers. One night, she broke down and said she’s been trying this new response and couldn’t honestly say “I am happy”. After reflection, she said there was so much about her job that kept her in the negative zone. She decided to apply for a job at a different company and had turned in her two weeks notice. As she spoke, there was more life and she seemed encouraged that she was making the right choice.

She was on her way to becoming happy.

Now before the online trolls begin to crucify both her and I with the “you’re not going to find happiness in a new job”, I want you to know that we had those discussions (I’m condensing 6 months into a short story). We explored what her frame of mind, her attitude and default settings were and how those needed to be focused on as well. We discussed taking risks and saying YES to life and happiness. We discussed reading good books, finding a greater power and how to walk forward in life. She embraced her personal development for her professional development.

You can BE happy no matter where and what you are doing, or who you are with. Happiness is not only a choice, but a sense of who you are.

One of the common denominators in Charismatic Connectors is their state of being. Their “I am” statements. They seem to be happy people. They want to connect and listen to others. They want to share in their joy.

CHALLENGE: For 1 month reply “I am happy” as your ONLY response to “How are you doing?”.